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Amelia's Meanderings
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Amelia Crowley's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, January 3rd, 2010
11:25 pm
Waving at November Girl


If you aren't too busy squishing everything in sight and feeding it to your petrol powered baby do you mind if I ask you a legal question and then run away without paying?
Tis for a friend of mine who would really appreciate the help.
Friday, October 23rd, 2009
1:30 pm
fear of facebook
FB gives me the creeps, however I'm fed up with not being able to read the stupid thing so I've started a page for my peace lily.
Do not be surprised if it friends you (and since when is friend a verb anyway?)
Thursday, October 22nd, 2009
3:23 pm
Not an Ellie related post in point of fact but musings on the strange phenomenon of the British accent.

Now I would generally argue that I do not actually have an accent; other people do, they have foreign accents and regional accents and trying-desperately-to-sound-cool accents, I, on the other hand, speak simple unadulterated English.

I am aware however that at times the effects of careful elocution in childhood, combined with  faint overlays of Harrow and Wales leave me sounding a little like a strange cross of Joanna Lumley and Penelope Keith but to be perfectly honest I don't have a problem with this.

And of course it comes with benefits: anyone who has spent any time in America must know that any kind of British accent is like a strange kind of chocolate coated crack to the average American.
Which is great: it can get you things you want, it can get you into places, it renders you at least thirty percent more attractive and can get you out of all sorts of trouble*
Even when Richard drove into the side of a sports car (out for a test drive at that) he had only to begin a halting baffled apology to have the driver of said vehicle stop him, ask "You English?" and wave away all further comment with a big smile.
It seems the cost of fixing or replacing the flashy car you were only borrowing is as naught compared to the joy of meeting a bemused Brit, at the least I suppose it made a good story: "So I get out of the car and he says, get this "Excuse me" yeah just like that so... yeah I let him off, you know they drive on the wrong side of the road over there?..right, so..."

I am more or less used to this, as I am to the moment's blinking incomprehension when my Father answers "Are you English" With "No, Welsh".

I was not however expecting this trick to work on peopler in this country however.

Just now a man came to the door hoping to sign us up to his electricity company.
He used the standard faux official opening "Nothing to worry about love, I'm just checking you're not paying too much for your consumption".
Then paused to allow me to show an intelligent interest or at least tell him how much we pay for energy.
Instead I responded thus: "Excuse me but were you sent by our electricity provider?"
Now admittedly this sounded rather more Lumleyish than usual but it wasn't really enough to warrant the thirty seconds of open mouthed staring that it apparently provoked.
"No love" quoth he at last.
"Then would you please leave?"
After another thirty seconds' gaping he remarked "Can't argue with that can you?" and shuffled off apparently slain by an unexpected acent and calm (if abrupt) good manners.

'Twas very odd.

*sometimes, of course, it can get you into trouble too.

Current Mood: amused
Monday, October 19th, 2009
1:58 pm
Is it rude to sign with your hands full?

Current Mood: curious
Tuesday, October 13th, 2009
10:53 pm
Meme, copied from Badgersandjam
01. Think of the first word that comes to mind when you think of me.
02. Go to Google Images and search for that word.
03. Reply to this post with one of the pictures on the first page of results (don't tell me the word).
04. Put this in your own journal so that I can do the same.  Or, you know, don't.

To insert an img into a comment, use [img src="url"], with <> in place of the square brackets.
Monday, September 28th, 2009
2:29 pm
Burst balloon.
I put the balloon lampshade cover into its dye bath on saturday and then ran it through the wash overnight.
Yesterday we took it out and it was covered in little tears, I pulled the fabric a little and it tore instantly, the whole thing is disintegrating.

poor mrs Stokely* has no balloon anymore.

I'm going to get a new cover, or maybe a big paper lampshade (a ball shaped one that will look even better) but nevertheless it makes me a little sad.

I'd hoped to pass on a little bit of my childhood to Ellie, now it's broken

*the name of the cat in the balloon basket.
Friday, September 25th, 2009
12:01 pm
I need a name tag.
I took Ellie to her first Sing and Sign class yesterday (of which more below perhaps) and she made a new friend.
The two of them rampaged hapily about while the other babies sat in circle and paid attention.
The mother of said infant and I therefore bonded over the silliness of sitting there singing The Wheels on the Bus and other such songs without an actual baby to sing it to.

That evening I remarked to Richard that we had each made a friend.
Richard asked my friend's name.
"Ummm Katy's mummy?" I replied.
Not only is this a dire state of affairs but my new and nameless friend didn't ask my name either.
I refuse to be known as just Ellie's mother.
something must be done.

Otherwise Sing and Sign was pretty good, the children are free to sit or rampage if they choose (new friend Katy* is the biggest in the class, Ellie is the second smallest but together they are unstoppable) and we get tea or coffee after although I have to bring my own teabags.

Ellie has also made either a deadly enemy or another friend with a terrible squint.
This is the very smallest baby, who is almost, but not quite, as pretty as Ellie and was being cooed at a lot till we turned up.
In addition to which the class leader kept getting their names mixed up.
Probably not a squint then.

In fact the only real problem with the class is that the Leader can't actually sing.
I don't know if she's tone deaf or just coulon't hit the notes but she was flat for almost the whole 45 minute session

My head still hurts a little now

*This could be a problem: she now has a friend called Katy at ballet, a friend called Katy at sing and sign and an Aunt called katy. I shall have to assign them numbers.

Current Mood: weird
Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009
10:15 am
The rest of Richard's post

Richard has been very impressive and painted the nursery and now justly feels the need to show off about its imminent glories.
He has, however, forgotten some bits.
Yes tis true the walls are willow green (except where they're white) and will soon be stencilled with dancing goblin-imp-fairy things.
And yes we have purchased an amazing grassy rug with 3d flowers on to go over the as-yet-unchanged brown carpet of browness (possibly covering the unfortunate burned bit)
And this will be good
It is true also that we intend to do the woodwork in white (richard got paint on it, thus saving us the long arduous process of deciding whether to leave it natural because it is real wood or cover it up because it's nasty orangey wood).
Likewise we will indeed be painting toadstools on the skirting board (not frieze style though, hopefully they'l just be dotted around as if they'd sprung up overnight).

But there will be so much more.

Which is to say that as well as this there will be big papery puffball things hanging from the ceiling (I saw a tutorial online) looking like clouds, or dandelion seeds or those floaty things you get in elven forests in WoW.
And there will be curtains, we haven't found them yet but they will be GOOD, I want blue ones with clouds on (because the window is where the sky lives, obviously) but that would probably require some batiking and hot wax and baby do not mix.
Furthermore there will be a lampshade like a hot air balloon with a cat in it.
This is an old lampshade from my childhood, I am redying it (it was green but has faded and looks permanaently dusty now) either china blue or turquoise depending what happens, to this I will add green and gold glitter paint, silver and white ribbon and quite possibly a large satin picture hat for the occupant.
It's going to be spectacular.

Also we're going to paint glow in the dark stars on the ceiling (just a few: the stars as they were above our house when Ellie was born we'll add more if and when another baby turns up) and I'm sticking a little 3d butterfly somewhere random as if it had just landed there for a second.

And, naturally, the room needs a bat.

Do we win the over the top parent award yet?

Current Mood: overabundant
Sunday, September 20th, 2009
4:16 pm
Bit parts
As we were driving home with a carload of painty things for the nursery, our radio merrily spouting "Always look on the bright side of life" we passed a young lady washing her car.
She was not unattractive and was performing this menial duty while wearing skin tight denim pedal pushers a short t-shirt and bright red shiny shoes.
Her large shaggy dog was watching.
As we went past she came up for a second in a hair tossing (despite the 50's style ponty tail) water flicking pose that really should have been slow motion.
The car whistled

I think we just played an incidental role in somebody else's movie.

Current Mood: amused
Thursday, September 17th, 2009
12:51 pm
Play Misty for me.

I was taking Ellie home from baby ballet (no, really) when I droped in to W.H.Smiths in search of magazines.
Along with the sensible infant related periodicals (yes I know baby eats life but one was Green Parent and the other had a free recipe book) I got a copy of the special edition rerelease of my favourite comic from childhood (you could keep your stupid Bunty comics mine had a vampire-mist-girl hosting twilight zoney horror stories of glorious creepy campiness)

Last night before Traveller I brandished my comic full of the nostalgic joy that can only come from reading about a girl whose stereo was so loud it could wake the dead.

Nobody remembered it but me.

Current Mood: le Sigh
Monday, September 14th, 2009
4:58 pm
Ellie has definitely changed us I think, at the very least she's forcing us to face our fears and horrors.
In example of which I offer Richard's death defying leap across the room yesterday: in pursuit of a spider.
I think he actually felt he was protecting me from it (he can't have been protecting Ellie: she was in bed), not only did he try to catch it in a plastic cup but he ran out and got a bigger one when the first didn't fit and put a piece of card underneath to carry it out with.

Then, lest I think he was going to do this all the time from now on, reality reasserted itself and he backed away at some speed while I carried the poor little thing outside.

As for me, I might not have that many phobias (It's ok to be afraid of wasps when they really are plotting to kill you) but there's a bowl of dismembered chicken-bits in the fridge waiting to be turned into baby friendly chicken nuggets.
 Anyone want to subscribe to the buy-Amelia-a-pair-of-kitchen-chopsticks-so-long-they-could-be-used-in-hell fund?


Oh well, how did that line from Dune go?

I will not fear, fear is the mind killer, I will face my fear...

Current Mood: Ick! chicken parts!
Thursday, September 10th, 2009
9:37 am
Mia smash now.

N.B no baby talk here but peripheral issues

Grrr just got off my parenting forum where they're having a very sensitive disscussion about post traumatic shock after childbirth and the tendency of midwives/visitors to say "well you've got a healthy baby now and that's all that matters" which translates to the distressed mother as: "you are nothing but breeding stock. Your feelings are meaningless."
 The conversation started hitting too close to home for some so it was moved to the members quiet  area (sensitivity required etc) and some very sad stories started coming out resulting in a great deal of discussion of a seriously neglected issue.

Then a stupid woman posted telling everyone to "toughen up" because "a healthy baby is all that matters ....my sister was born with learning difficulties [due to neglect in childbirth] and she died at eighteen"

obviously the mods jumped all over her but too late: no-one wants to talk any more.

paraplegia may be worse than a broken leg but that won't stop the leg from hurting.

Current Mood: enraged
Monday, September 7th, 2009
10:14 am
I have put a name to my pain
Not Strep anything thank goodness, although having had a severe infection may have helped this on its way.
I have tonsillitis.
I feel thoroughly ridiculous.
And also ill.
Friday, September 4th, 2009
8:44 am
plague: again
I have the plague again: stupid high temperature flu has struck for the umpteenth time and I'm starting to wonder if it's something else.

I never had a flu like this before Ellie was born but now it seems to be a regular visitor.
Given that it bears a striking resemblence to the endometriosis I had after her birth I can't help suspecting that this is not just coincidence.
Just looked up strep A infecton and learn that "serious infections may occur sporadically" but not much else (and even that was wikipedia)

I fear a blood test is in order but I suspect that if I listed my symptoms to a doctor today I'd just find myself on tamiflu.

Current Mood: sick
Tuesday, September 1st, 2009
3:50 pm
Oh the horror!
Have recorded the empty eyed zombie child for Richard to see.

My agony must be shared.
Monday, August 31st, 2009
1:50 pm
Sneaky like a snake
Today was cage day: the day when the rat cage gets cleaned out.
So, Richard distracted Ellie while I emptied the cage, scrubbed shelves, washed bowls, pulled Luna out of my top and put her back in the cage etc etc.

Unfortunately while taking the bag of old litter to the bin* I managed to lock myself out.
So I went round and knocked on the front door, Richard, somewhat bemusedley, let me in and I attempted to sneak back to the sun room to carry on.
Handily our front room and dining room both open off the hall so I was able to slip past the front room with Ellie in and use the dining room door to sneak into the dining room stay out of sight of the connecting door and sidle round the corner to the sun room, thus avoiding the notice of my monster (as long as she didn't see me I knew she'd be fine with Richard).

Well, that was the plan.
Unbeknownst to me Richard had left a stairgate leaning against the dining room door, I pushed the door, the gate came down with a crash and I stepped through to see Ellie looking, with a ridiculously calm curiosity, through the connecting door and straight at me.

Oh yeah, Ninja Mummy, that's me.

Current Mood: amused
Sunday, August 30th, 2009
6:05 pm
Life Imitating LARP
Today we went to Beningborough Hall which was rather lovely in many ways and contained some fascinating portraits.
I fear however that Maelstrom is starting to seep into real life: in one room there is a large and charming portrait of Kitty.
Not of Chiara you understand, though it does look very like her, it's quite definitely Caterina (something about her expression I think; you get the distinct impression that she's hiding a pistol in her skirts).

The guide book doesn't mention this picture, I can only assume that it's slipped through a space-time rift from a wall in New Terino.

Current Mood: amused
Friday, August 28th, 2009
8:52 am
Monsters on the loose
I am a tired Amelia.

This is probably because Ellie hasn't been sleeping properly for the last few nights (and of course when Ellie doesn't sleep I don't sleep), she was hell to get down on tuesday night, on wednesday she was a little angel while we had people over then a horror the rest of the night (I heard her crying and got up only to find that the sadness was not due to I-Want-Mummy but to her inability to climb out of her cot while in a sleeping bag, this carried on till at threeish I gave up and took her back to our bed).
Last night I thought we'd fixed it by changing her to a warmer sleeping bag but at two-thirty she began wandering around her cot and crying again.
still I kept settling her and putting her back and she eventually went back to sleep until six.

Possibly some of this sleplessness is due to the excitement of wednesday when the Ellie monster went to see the larger Dan-beast and I got to spend some time in adult company for a while (Hurrah for Nicky!).
We took the monsters to the Picnic in the Woods, however as it had been raining off and on all morning this became the Picnic in the Methodist Church, They managed to set up everything they'd normally have though, even the big bouncy castle (high ceiling) with the exception of the big red bus which apparently was off sick.

This was Wildlife week so they had some people with animals for the kids to meet, Ellie was very excited to encounter a large snake, or Cat!, as well as a leopard Gecko and a blue tongued skink, by which time she was getting fretful so I took her off to a quiet area they'd set up for the use of small monsters.
 Ellie had a wonderful time, first playing with the car track they'd set up then with a big padded block (from giant building blocks) and some toy dinosaurs, unfortunately I had a less wonderful time as while we were there a little boy came in to say he'd just stroked an owl.
Cue furious Amelia.
I was explaining to one of the organisers why owl-petting is A Bad Thing when the little boy joined in again: "He didn't like it, he was frightened. I wouldn't like it either"
For goodness sakes, if a toddler can see that it's not a good idea you'd think an adult could.

Dan started getting fed up at the absence of the big red bus so we headed back for lunch (the people with the owl were gone unfortunately)
had a carpet picnic, then investigated the horrors of baby tv  (empty eyed zombie child!).
Dan had almost every story in the house read to him, we went out again, to the park and apart from Dan's tumble downstairs, at which Nicky went whiter than I'd imagined possible, we had a great time.

I could do with more of them really, if only I could sleep a little inbetween.

Current Mood: sleepy
Monday, August 24th, 2009
10:03 am
Won't somebody think of the children?!
In which Amelia rants incoherently.

If the economy is meant to be picking up then how come so many companies are making people redundant?
Surely they should be thinking "Hmmm things are bad now but increased housing prices mean the economy is picking up so we'd better not fire anyone or we'll have to spend even more to hire new people in a couple of months."
And yet the redundancies continue.

Latest news is that Macmillan are making cuts all over the place which is not good news for those of us whose manuscripts they've been sitting on for months (My agent just mailed to say she's going to start poking Simon and Schuster but I'm guessing the same will be happening there, what effects one company in an industry tends to effect them all) but also is a fairly bad omen for childrens literature in general.

I don't know why but it seems to me that times of either huge economic boom or miserable economic depression seem to be categorised by a huge upsweep in the "It's fun to be a teenager" parts of kid lit and a matching downswing in the creative, fantastic and "It's pretty good just being a kid" bits.

Lately the bookshops have been full of good children's fantasy and historical novels, plus some pretty decent looking adventure stuff all of which made me fairly optimistic about Ellie's future.
Now though the fantasy stuff is dropping off leaving behind shelves of books about thongs and snogging.

There's nothing wrong with these things of course (although the self conscious slanginess of the latter leaves me cold) but they sure as hell aren't all there is to childhood, or indeed teenagerhood.
Still looking at the new releases I fear that these books are going to crowd out the good ones again to the point that teenyfic is all that's available (publishers won't take on a new book if there's no evidence of that kind of book selling at the time *dope slap*).

In short I feel a Sweet Valley High coming on.


Current Mood: Appalled of pontefract
Thursday, August 20th, 2009
9:03 am
Priorities: I has tehm right.
This morning:

Me: Ellie can you say mummy?

Ellie : brrrbblbbrllrrrb

Me: Can you say Daddy?

Ellie: EEEEphrrrrr

Arikel: *walks into room*

Ellie: Ca!


Tybalt just came in, Ellie brought all her powers to bear and summoned up a "t"


Ladies and Gentlemen: my daughter's first word.

Current Mood: I know my place
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